A BIGGER HANDFUL OF QUICKIES

Two vampires walked into a bar and called for the bartender. "I'll have a glass of blood," said one.
"I'll have a glass of plasma," said the other.
"Okay," replied the bartender, "That'll be one blood and one blood lite."



This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper replies, "Really? You have a drink named Steve?!"



A termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?"



A hamburger walks into a bar, and the bartenders says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve food here."



Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first says, "Yes, I'm positive."



A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer," he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "No charge."



A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre... so the barman gave her one!



Two donkeys walk into a bar and the first donkey says to the bartender "I'll have a pint of Bud please"
and the second donkey says "hee haw, hee haw, he always orders that"



So two jumper cables walk into a bar. Bartender says, "You guys better not start anything in here."



A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says to the guy: "Mate, you've got a steering wheel down your pants."
The guy replies "Yeah I know. Its driving me nuts!"

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