* Must take 63 swings to the head from Mark McGwire. * All of Clinton's interns must now be former "Golden Girls." * Arrange for him to be President of France, where they're into that stuff. * The place: San Quentin. The cell mate: Hillary. * Must deliver next State of the Union speech while wearing "the dress." * Every day from 9am to 10am, ordinary citizens may come to the White House and sass him. * At public appearances, "Hail to the Chief" replaced by cheesy porn movie music. * Must issue formal apology to Ted Kennedy for giving philandering politicians everywhere a bad name. * See Bobbitt, John Wayne. * No "Xena" for two weeks.
