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Big apartment in NYC

A man had just moved from his big apartment in NYC, to a big farm way out in the countryside. Just days after he moved, he realized he was out of chicken feed, so he went down to the nearest store. (a good 2-hour drive away). "Can I get me some chicken feed?' the man asked. ?Yup, but yaw can't have none unless you can prove to me you actually guts chickens. Don't want no one eaten' it or nothing' an' getting' sick." the clerk responded. He argued with her a bit, but finally gave in and took a two-hour drive back and forth once again, this time with the chicken. "Here's my chicken. Now get me the chicken feed." He got his feed and drove home. The next day he ran out of dog food for his dog. Once again, he drove down to the store, foolishly not thinking about bringing his dog. It was the same case. He had to present his dog to the stubborn clerk. He went back home and retrieved his dog, and got his dog food. The next day, he went down to the store again, this time with a shoebox with a lid on it that had a hole in the top. He walked into the store and said to the clerk "Smell this." "That smells like... crap!" she said with a look of surprise on her face. "Oh... toilet paper."